Noah’s Ark Retold
And the Lord said unto Noah,
“Where is the ark which I
commanded thee to build?”
And Noah said unto the Lord,
“Verily, I have 3 carpenters off
ill. The gopher wood supplier hath
let me down – yea, even though
the gopher wood hath been on
order for high upon 12 months.
What can I do, Lord?”
And God said unto Noah,
“I want that ark finished even after
seven days and seven nights.”
And Noah said, “It will be so.”
And it was not so. And, the Lord
said unto Noah, “What seemeth
to be the trouble this time?”
And Noah said unto the Lord,
“Mine subcontractor hath gone
missing; the pitch which Thou
commandest me to put on the
outside and on the inside
of the ark hath not arrived. The
plumber hath gone on strike.
Shem, my son who helped me
On the ark side of the business
hath formed a pop group with
his brothers, Ham and Japheth.
Lord, I am undone.”
And the Lord grew concerned
and said, “And what about the
animals, the male and female
of every sort that I ordered
to come unto thee to keep their
seed alive upon the face of
the earth?”
And Noah said, “They have
been delivered unto the wrong
address but should arriveth on
Friday.”
And the Lord said, “How about
the unicorns and the fowls of
the air by sevens?”
And Noah wrung his hands saying
“Lord, unicorns are
a discounted line; thou canst
no get them for love nor money.
And fowls of the air are sold
only in half-dozens.
Lord, Thou knowest how it is.”
And the Lord in His
wisdom said, “Noah, my son,
I knowest, Why else dost
thou think I have caused
a flood to descend upon
the earth?”
