By Bob Garver
For whatever reason, the studios decided that what America wanted this Valentine’s season wasn’t romantic comedies or sweeping dramas, but violent R-rated fare with varying degrees of love and relationship theming. Frankly none of these movies are going to be big commercial hits, with “Dog Man” still ruling the box office this past weekend and “Captain America: Brave New World” sure to dominate Valentine’s Day itself. That’s why I’m smooshing these movies all together here, because they have a way of cancelling each other out. For example, even though the lot includes my favorite film of 2025 so far, it also includes my least favorite. Which brings me to…
“Love Hurts”
Ke Huy Quan stars as Marvin Gable, a suburban realtor with a dark past. He used to be an enforcer for his crime-boss brother Knuckles (Daniel Wu), but quit when he couldn’t kill loose-end lawyer Rose (Ariana DeBose). He let Rose live on the condition that she disappear and let Knuckles think she was dead, but now she’s tired of hiding. She wants to take Knuckles down for good and she wants Marvin to help her do it. Should Marvin leave his agreeable new life behind? Do he and Rose even have what it takes to defeat Knuckles and his army of henchmen and hitmen?
The film is a storytelling mess, with a convoluted storyline about stolen money distracting from Marvin’s key arc. Supporting players, most of them hitmen, try to steal scenes by being quirky, but they’re just annoying time-wasters (although Quan’s “Goonies” co-star Sean Astin has a juicy scene as his best friend). Exposition is dumped in awkward narration. The choppy action scenes are even more awkward. This is a movie that wants to be nothing more than a series of fights, has no idea how to put a story around them, and then doesn’t even get the fights right.
Grade: D
“Love Hurts” is rated R for strong/bloody violence and language throughout. Its running time is 83 minutes.
“Heart Eyes”
“Heart Eyes” stars Olivia Holt and Mason Gooding as a pair of bickering co-workers who, by the law of romantic comedies, are destined to fall in love on Valentine’s Day. Problem is, this is no rom-com, this is a slasher movie with a killer whose fetish is killing loving couples. Our leads run afoul of the killer, even though they’re not really a couple, though they might end up as one through this shared experience… if they manage to live, of course.
The movie has two charismatic leads and some genuinely funny, twisted jokes. But its constant need to subvert cliches becomes predictable after a while (“what will ruin the sweet moment this time?”) and it really falls apart toward the end when it starts playing its horror straight. There are some fun ideas in play here, but not enough for me to say that I love this movie.
Grade: C
“Heart Eyes” is rated R for strong violence and gore, language and some sexual content. Its running time is 97 minutes.
“Companion”
“Companion” stars Sophie Thatcher as Iris, a woman being taken by her boyfriend Josh (Jack Quaid) to a remote mansion in the woods to meet his friends. She tries to fit in for Josh’s sake, but his friends seem weirdly standoffish. One of them assaults her and an even more brutal act of violence follows. In the aftermath, we learn that the seemingly mild-mannered Josh has been more… “controlling” of Iris than previously thought.
The film is an equally funny and sick series of cat-and-mouse games between the two leads. Thatcher, between this and last year’s trapping “Heretic,” can now officially call herself a Scream Queen. But it’s Jack Quaid who steals the movie. This role is going to make it hard for him to get a date for a while. I’m not saying that he isn’t handsome, but there’s an unmistakable brand of inner ugliness in play. See this movie with a date and you’ll both have fun squirming.
Grade: B
“Companion” is rated R for strong violence, sexual content, and language throughout. Its running time is 97 minutes.
Contact Bob Garver at rrg251@nyu.edu.