by Slim Randles
Here he came, Windy Wilson himself. Marched right up to the official round table of the World Dilemma Think Tank at the Mule Barn coffee shop. Windy whipped off his beat-up old Stetson, grinned and bowed to us there as is fitting to the membership of the Supreme Court of Dang Near Everything.
“May I kindly join you, compadres?” Windy said.
Steve pointed to several empty chairs and Windy homesteaded on one in particular. He seated himself as though he were surrounded by servants and looked … regal. That ain’t easy for an over-the-hill cowboy camp cook, either.
We looked at each other and grinned. We’re in for it this morning. But ol’ Windy wasn’t ready to spill the beans. He was waiting for one of us. To do what?
Loretta came by with more coffee and topped off our tanks. “Hey Windy,” she said, “Haven’t seen you in a while. Hear you’ve got a new hobby.”
She smiled and left.
“New hobby?” said Dud. “Okay, spill it old timer.”
“Aw, jest got tired of my own cookin’ and thought I’d get better acquainted with Mame the Dame Dilworth. So I’m practicin’. Thass all.”
“Practicing?”
“Sure, Doc. I’m sure you know how it is with single women, they want a guy who’s suffistimacated and knows lotsa stuff. So I been practicin.’ You know, borryin’ from dead smart guys who wrote stuff a long time ago and they don’t mind if I use it, cuz they’re dead. I did mention on that, right?”
“Yes you did,” said Doc. “So give us some of that. Let ‘s see how you’re doing.”
Windy stood, grinned, and waved to the half-vast coffee-swilling audience in the room.
“Friends, roommates, countrymen … lend me your ears! Never in the course of human events has so many owed so much to so few.
“I’ve come to bury Caesar, not to raise him. The good a man does lives on, while the bad is oft interrupted by the bones.”
We were stunned. Finally, Doc broke the silence. “Windy, the only thing you need to improve that is a new hat.”
“What if I jest brushed out this ‘un?”
“Good start, Windy. Good start.”
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